another fight

Originally written in September of 2020.

I know
Your mercies are new
every morning
so are they stale
every night

Here we are again

As I'm lying awake
on this bed that's not mine
it's hard for me to believe
in the morning we're fine
it happens all the time
when the sun rises again
our souls intertwined
we make amends

but I'm
tired

and
what about
when night comes
again

What happens then?
and how many times –
again and again?
I'm beginning to wonder
about all that we've been
and if it's not a matter of if
but when
it all falls apart
and we're more alone than before
it only takes a moment
to walk out the door
in an instant, like that
it can fall so flat
and who's to say
it gets better

oh God,
have mercy on us
like I held her tonight
hold both of us tight
in Your love

"you're my final breath
before I drown"
gasping
gulping
hoping
You're here